My 1st 3 days .. still alive

I decided on my bumpy ride on the 22 bus from Southampton General Hospital to Saint Hant Hospital to write my diaries here ..
Well actualy i told my family that before i leave but i wanted to start the topic with bus talk =p

Gosh ! what a ride ( not the bus now). It all started the night of the 11th when we left home going to Dammam airport in which , surprisingly, was my 1st time flying from there!. More importantly, It was my 1st time flying without my parents... It was me and Rabab and the way to Southampton.

My dad , after my mom pushed him to go with us and spend the 1st week around us, was in Bahrain getting ready to fly to Southampton the time we were in the car.

Eman , my cousin , was on her way to Abu Dhabi to take a flight there sending her to Southampton.

Yeah i know , it's the amazing race ! My dad won , if anyone cares =p.

So back to the car that was driving us to the airport .. I couldn't believe it ! I'm going there for 5 weeks alone .. with my sister and cousin of course .. but alone in the hospital alone in the hostel alone alone alone ='( !!.

We said goodbye to my mom and my lil sister who cried her heart out after Rabab decided to cry when we were saying goodbye =s. kids ^o| !

We waited and waited and waited in the stupid airport of Dammam till they announced our flight and we rushed to the airplane. How cool r we flying alone !

so lets spare the boring detail of our flight and arrival .. and the rest of the day was me sleeping in the hilton ... till the other morning

My 1st day dwam .. went to the hospital .. registered .. and here we go .. totally lost .. lolz
went to my skn .. registered ... saw my room .. feiha net. .. yuppy =D

2nd day dwam (today) .. i got up at 6 15 to catch the bus going there..which i didn't know where it is exactly .. i was so not wanting to go .. coz i really felt lost the 1st day.

Went to the bus station at the hospital near by .. the bus came at 7 45 i was in the hospital by 8

went to the wing i know the team is in .. The Fantastic 4 ( i call them that they don't know)

Marchello the italiano .. speaks like robert di nero
Mary the british .. she's so sweet !! toooo much sweet that i can't deal with her =s
Dr. Angel ! the british / spanish .. he's a hardworker .. teaches me sometimes stuff
the indian .. who was nice with me today =D

so i ran with them the rounds...lost..but lil bit found .. and then mary suggested by 10 that i go to the theatre !!

I wore the scrub suit =D =D .. looked so scruby
went to the surgery .. sat behind while marchelo was supervising the indian doctor.
They wanted to cut some of the pancreas to test it. It was so damaged by chronic pancreatitis .. so they wanted to took off the part damaged.

The consultant .. Mr. Johnson came by to do the surgery .. and since i was short i was standing on something to lift me up =s ..

the doctor was so nice that he was explaining to me what was he doing.. coz all what i was seeing is cutting burning and blood everywhere =D =D ...

The anesthetic was so bored that he came to talk with me !
God those anesthetic ppl akeed zhganein all the time =s.

When they were cutting every orgen i know they found something fishy in the duedonum.
Appearantly some ectopic pancreatic tissue is grown there =o WHICH WAS AMAZING ! even for the real doctors ! so they took that part with the pancreas ( after 4 hours surgery =s =s with me standing all the time ='( )
and then Mr johnson took me to the lab .. to show it to me...and they took picture for it =D like book pictures.... i was this close to put my face in the camera hahaa =D =D


anyhow...i came back now..on that bus which was jumping all over southampton
my back is killing me .. i'm so tired.. i'll go pray and my dad will come to visit in a while

Post Stress Disorder

Why is my life so ........

1- complicated
2- stupid
3- meaningless
4- empty
5- full of stuff that i can't appreciate




I'm so ........

1- complicated
2-stupid
3- pathetic
4- empty
5- full of stuff that i can't appreciate



All I Need is ..... to make me better


1- to stop hating me
2- a bitter song
3- a night full of tears
4- a poem says what's inside
5- some1 who understands me
6- U !

Miss me When I'm Gone

U occupy all the thoughts of mine
When i mean to u none
Just remember me from time 2 time
Just miss me when i'm gone..

Messing around my blog

Should i do this the sad bloggy way? or should i just act the fun out of it.

hmmz..

It's that time of the year again .. Stupid unit exam .. this one is different 3ad for many reasons

1- It's the 1st unit that i don't read a thing mnha along the year. It's not like i was sha6ra fel units elly gbl ,, bs knt ast7i mn el ktab fei a problem or 2 and read like 2 pages..lolz
2- It's the 1st unit that one week before the exam .. it didn't hit me yet " el esteei3ab b6ee2"
3- It's the 1st unit where a major championship zy el euro is going on through it's ugly preparatory period week
4- It's the last unit of the most lazy year of my life..dirasyn 6b3n
5- It's the unit elly u feel enha easy bs no way u know an info feiha if u don't read


I'm dloo3a this unit...always needing someone around me to give me the push...needy childish ..just dloo3a.

Every day i wake up.. the 1st thing that comes fei my head .. "what's the game tonight" 3shan i study so i can watch it with no guilt infront of my parents.

Well i'm guilty alright .. I know i'm not doing half my best to study
I read till i get bored .. If i don't understand i don't care.

el 7yah easy =p ..

was it sad and bloggy wla fun ?!

hmmmmmzz

I discovered that my blog is .. dark

not only the templet .. which i think i'm gonna change after i finish writing this


the whole posts in it.

a3ooth bllh am i that dark person !!

I won't say i'm the happiest one on earth .. which i was on one point in my life

but i'm not that sad...come on no one is that sad !


I just i think ... that .. since i don't talk about what's wrong with me that much... this blog is my only way to breath out the sad thoughts that crosses my head..

So it's not like i'm that dark...it's just this blog signifies the dark side of me.

I should call it the dark side of me looolz

I'm a happy person tra!

If You're Not The 1 ..

If I'm Not Made For You Then Why Does My Heart Tell Me That I Am ...!

Thoughts...

Hmmmz...
I hate this feeling when i have nothing to talk about ....
Though i'm the most talker i know ... I still can't find a topic to be told...
Thoughts...all what i have

thought #1
I'm becoming 21 in 2 weeks .. and i just can't feel it .. don't want to ..
Weird .. every year i become sooo thrilled for my birthday
this year seems .. like .. cold..there is no air

thoguht #2
Yeah i'm depressed , feeling insignificant ...though i have ppl who r proving me wrong..but once i think that i'm in the safe side... something happens and just takes that moment away..
Why can't things be constants for a change.

thought #3
It's 6 am .. i didn't sleep yet .. i'm doing absouloltly nothing .. just wishing for that moment to come back.. god i'm pethatic

thought #4
It's weird how i'm apathic ..6 weeks now and i know nothing in my books..do u c me caring ? naah

thought #5
Some winds from the past can be so refreashing .. i don't know if the feeling is amazing coz of the dry weather of the present .. or i just need to go back to my beginning sometimes.

thought #6
In order to gain some .. u have to lose some along the way .... Still hurts that i lost them .. and what hurts more... that they think it's my fault ..

thought #7
when will ppl open their eyes to c the true shape of other ppl... Or maybe i'm the one seeing the picture wrong.

thought #8
Did i lose my self doing everything for other ppl and forgetting to do anything for the sake of me ! I wanna find me ..

thought #9
I feel lonely, when i have every single person in the world around me , except for the person that i want it to be around ..

thought #10
I hate the way i became .. the way i was .. the way i'm becoming .. I need u to fix me now.