2008 Resolutions

Though i don't believe in that , i mean if ur planning to do something u don't have to set a year for it . but i guess it's a good way to put ur self a dead line . and i only work under dead lines.
So i'm gonna put a list , if i done 75% of them i'll be happy
i'll come to check them a year from now etha allah a7yana .
and whoever is reading u can nag on my head till i get some of them done lolz
so let's start


1- Learn to drive before i'm 21 ( before 27-5-2008)
2- Spend more time with the family , less time on line "doing that already (a)"
3- Getting above 75 in year 3 "this is from the 25% i'm planning to ditch =p"
4- Studying at least a full day a week " trying my best to not put it fel 25% =p"
5- Going abroad without my parents " lolz it's a dream =p"
6- Spending less time in the uni doing nothing
7- Trying to get the doctory idea in my head
8- Spending less money here and there =p
9- Be more honest with my self
10- Grow up.

ok then =p
anytime i remember something i'll add it
so far i have to do 7.5 of this =p
wish me luck lolz

Ur Voice !!

I forgot the Feeling of hearing ur voice

The joy I had when u were around me

But now u came and i had no choice

but not telling u , to remind me

------

remind me of that amazing , wonderful sensation

The feeling that I always have someone who's here
I dreamt with many thoughts to fill my imagination

but they never reached the way i felt when u were near

-------

I felt that my heart was pulled from my chest

My eyes were closed and let ur words be absorbed

Everything disappeared , but ur voice was left

It makes me drown , and never throw me a robe

-------

God I wish I had that choice to speak

Understand my words without being told

I've always been to ur love so weak

That seeing u steels my every word

Why !

I never felt those lyrics like now =(


I Can Feel U Near Me , Even Though Ur Far Away
It's not Supposed to Hurt This way , I Need U , More and More Each Day

=( !!!!

Used

I hate that !
I really reaaaaaaly love helping ppl , the best feeling i have when i make a person, especially if they r so close , feeling better even if the betterness was sooooo little. It's just indescribable

But i hate it , when those ppl , act like they don't know me, or just not giving me that face , if they r feeling all good and clean , especially if they r so close =(

am i used? by those ppl , and other ppl?
should i stop helping ? hell no =s
should i stop helping them ? i can't , i just care too much =(

z3lana =(

Letting It Out

Here I am surrounded By Many
Knowing everyone but still AlOnE
My Smile is the 1st thing u c
While a tear is just being born

How To Save a Life =(

This song , is officially my new song ..

When u hear it , i know each one will relate to it , depending on his situation.
But i think it's more touching when u know the true story of this song.



This song was written by Isaac ,the lead singer in The Fray (i forgot his family name lolz) ,about a friend who was a drug addict , his family talked to him to quit , they told him they won't love him anymore if he didn't , well nothing worked , so Isaac was talking to him , and the song starts with that , but then he left him ... The same night, that friend killed him self ..

"Where did i go wrong , i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i could have stayed up with u all night
had a i known , How To Save A Life "

In general , this song talks about not having someone to talk to , to have to deal with ur problems alone , with no one understanding .

"U Begin to Wonder Why U Came "

Under Pressure

I'm , done with it !
I hate this feeling , I hate this time of the year, when the unit exam is so near and u know ur Under Pressure.
I always tell ppl , when it comes to studying , do whatever u can to study.
I'm doing that , i tried staying in Bahrain during weekends, I tried going back to Saudi , I tried staying fel uni during week days , I tried returning home to c what the books r talking about , i tried Starbucks , Dulce , I even once tried studying while skating ...

It ain't WORKING !

I have no idea what to do , with each week the material becomes bigger and the amount of papers that i have to eat , become harder and harder to swallow

I was thinking today , that this feeling i have , I have it before every unit , actually before every exam that ever passed on me .
And what happen usually , I one day feel serious and begin to make it up by studying large amounts in a lil time and i end up with an OK or very OK mark .
Today i was thinking , then what ? !
am i going to spend all my medical studying life like this =s !

I swear I began to get this stupid ideas of quiting the whole damn thing =s ............

i'll just stop talking, don't need any more problems =p

Speachless

I've been trying to express my feeling in the shadow of the stupid situation i've been put in lately , I just couldn't .
I don't remember a time i felt that bad in my life , that whenever i remember what , and who i'm seemingly losing, i swear i can hear a tear screaming up there =( .

The thing is , this salfa doesn't want to end , and its upsides and downs r like that thing elly fel theme parks elly goes up and down till ppl throw up " i have no idea what its called and don't know if my eew explanation fulfilled ur imagination or not =p"

Today for example , started up rough but it's now so calm , but i know calmness won't solve this problem . This problem need a serious discussion sit , so everyone can rid away any hard feeling they're keeping for them selves.

Friendship is built upon trust , honesty and willing to express ur self to each other without any fear . If any of those were missing , the Friend Ship will sink so easily.

I wish things return to the same again , but i don't want this to happen by keeping our feeling inside and not confessing what really bother us about each other .

Allah ys'hl

P.S , i swear i'm good ppl ha =P

Fixing others , Damaging my self

I'm , mlgoofa
I can't c something happening wrong in front of my eyes and not interfere to fix it , especially if it involves my friends.
Lately , many stuff was happening to and from my friends , which were , as i judge , wrong !
I couldn't just stand and watch them harming their selves , and others !
So , as i always do , interfered .
I wish i didn't
I may lose a very dear friend , and lose my credibility with many others .

I just wish i didn't .
If fixing others will harm me , I guess i have to stop !
Saying that is so much easier than actually doing it , but please god help me to do it.
I can't stand any more sad days ....

Cutting the fun out of my life

I love math
always did , always will
I use math in every aspect of my life , one of those , are time management . which i'm very bad at =p ( not mathematicaly , only practically =p)
so the day is consisted of 24 horus
i have 10 hours for sleeping , which ends me with 14 hours ,, lets say 6 in the university , that leaves me with .. yeah good ppl .. 8 hours .. 4 of them is for fun , and 4 for ,,presumably studying =o

I'm on line every day of my life .. that...usually doesn't take place in the 4 hours of fun ( being on line is fun but not that fun =p) so usually , it takes time from my sleeping , which gradually reduces to 3-5 hours a day...

I love to stay in the uni ,( 6 hours r for dwam,,and if i have business there) , the staying in the uni for nothing,,is usually taken from , yeah u guessed it =p, the studying ours =o =o

That's what i call time management,, =) .. smart girl mn jd =p
After realizing last week that i really really need to study,,coz 3adi 3adi mrrh that i get my 1st F if i didn't , and after seeing this week problem =o , and after deciding with my group that we have to finish this long problem in one week, and after being a part of Pre Med Introduction Week (after stuff wajd =p ), the sleeping hours(which i can't cut from them), the studying hours(can't cut from them to), the staying at the uni hours(business wajd!), weren't enough for me to finish this problem + not to neglect Future Doctors
so , i had to cut the fun out of schedule for this week and add it to the "studying hours" .

=( , yeah me z3lana shwy , but we can't have it all ,can we .

New Attitude

After having really bad days , within the happy period of al 3eid =s , I finally today had the courage to adapt a new attitude.

I Bought A Skater =D =D =D and i'm so happy that i finally did

It makes me feel like i'm flying away from all my mental problems.

what a happy feeling brought by a little (but very heavy =p) something=D

Sorting My Priorities

I remember I began to write this post last weekend , but i didn't finish it . coz i realized i was only promising my self to sort my priorities , but didn't care to put that promise at the top of "The Priorities List" !
Last year , i put my studying 2nd,,and sometimes 3rd to wajd stuff . y3ni i remember , asking to have a short objective coz i have an activity at that week. Not thinking ,that it's suppose to be the other way around , i should cut from my responsibilities in that activity ,, coz i'm having a big objective or big problem !

One of my friends said
1-My Studying
2-Future Doctors

Me, my studying is the bottom of my priorities , even priority don't seem a good word to describe its place.
So , this year , I've got many responsibilities ,even more than last years ,,regarding FD and other stuff . But , I promised my self (and I've started acting on the base of that promise since yesterday) that , no matter how the job took time that time won't be taking from Me , it would be taking from my free time .
So , My Studying and most importantly My Self ,, is at the top of the list .


**My Priority = To make that last more than a day =D .

5rboooosha

سنين

وأنا بدون ذكراك

سنين وانت عن بالي

بعيد

من زود ما قررت انساك

هجرت شعري والقصيد

تخطيتك

بس ما تخطيت غياب الخواطر

ما تخطيت متنفسي .. من زماني الغابر

ما تخطيت ذاك الشعور

لما اعبر عن كل حس ..معتملني

قصيدي الماهر

في اخفاء احاسيسي السرية

ومشاعر

في الافصاح عنها ما ارغب

الحنين ..خلاني ارجع اكتب

بس ما ظنيت .. بعد هالسنين

الاسم الي كان بين السطور

يصرخ يجاهر..ويثور

وهو اول كلمة تنكتب

يا رب اخفي المستور

=P

Shock MalAbsorption

U know when u feel negative vibes in the air !
Today , i got shocked in so many ppl that i can not count.
Ppl in different stories , the negativity have been vibrating along the day , that i heard all these stories in the very short hours of today !

I just don't get it ! what's so important in life that makes ppl lie , fight and destroy every meaning of a friendship . Nothing yswa to lose ur best friend , or lie on a potential friend just to be "cool" .

I'm just malabsorbing those shocks today , i hope i get the right enzyme to digest them soon =s

Lesson of the day = Don't trust anyone , No one is permanent

allah y3ein el jmee3 =(

ReWriting my self Up !

Ok Here is the case

I need to study , so i open the book , and read

the next step is getting infoz and making ur brain go big

well no !

For me , i find anything to make me busy , all the business in the world comes when ur studying all the things ur keeping on hold , u just get them done while studying

So my on hold thing , was getting to write again,,coz i really miss writing

the thing is , i forgot how to write in arabic =s

s5afa right ! but that didn't keep me from Not Studying

so i did the following

U left me but ur here in my thoughts
I can't let u to be released
I'm cutting every single way out
Ease my pain by staying , please

Ur image is my only consolation
The memories just keep being forgotten
I don't know how I'm gonna find patience
When ur image becomes so rotten

Just come to renew ur picture
Remind me of that smile of ures
Ull be my home and I'll be ur shelter
All my life for u , is open doors

God please don't let me regret this post ='(

Going Down

This time , this post is no Oprah Winfry Show kind of post.
Going down = abnzl , which means i'm going to Saudi 2morrow ,u know, weekend.
This week was a very weird week 9ra7a , I can c that from just reading my posts and realizing , that my blog views increased by double since I posted that Storm thingy!
So u ppl like drama ha ...
Take that as drama then ...
After a very weird hard long week , i'm really gonna sort my brain out in this weekend regarding so many issues. actually , this week have changed me big time ! which made me think what kind of impact will this year has on my personality. well think about it , every year we develop in so many ways .. but i feel like this year has the biggest influence on my ever lasting personality.

So Going Down to Saudi .. But Getting Up with my new Me !
...+ve post at last =p

Down , Down and Down

Down , because I "think" I did what's right.
Down , because no one confirmed that what I did was right.
and Down , because I still need ppl's confirmation to prove what I "think" was the right thing to do.

.......Improving

Plz Believe in Me !

I've always always destroyed my self esteem by not believing in me.
The reason for that is simply , coz i never put high hopes in anything , including in me! . I've always waited for someone to prove me wrong , in the not believing part , but I guess .. no one could accomplish that even when some tried.
The thing that i never thought of .. is why waiting for ppl to prove me wrong ? why don't I to that my self !
So this year I adapted another attitude in which I put my self into situations pushing my self into the limits to c what "me" can do. If I done it right , I guess I gotta believe in Me. 3ad if I don't , I guess I gotta live with it =p
So self destruction , inshallah , no more! but i need a little help from external forces =p.

Away From the Spotlight..

Don't u think it's funny where u stand in the universe each single day.

If u don't , I do !

I don't know , i just some days , feel like i'm the center of the universe , and very +ve vibes r in the air .. and other days i feel like , well , nothing ..spacial !

U would say now , yeah, coz some days u do great so the ppl around u respond +vely to ur greatness , and some days ur just doing nothing ,,so akeed the universe will reply the same !

well that's not the case here !

It's just +ve or -ve days..with no particular reason.

I chose the "Away from the spotlight" title .. coz i always say that in 2 ,very different , situations.

It's either ppl r mo m3breiny what so ever .. so i'm like nothing around so many somethings.

or it's the exact opposite .. when the spotlights r on me ! and i just wanna go into shades !

What do I want ?

that's another difficult Q to be answered.

God i'm weird =s

Storm

Yeah i've been in this storm long ago.

weird how a very long tiring week .. spares u lots of time to think about ur self ..

and the one within ..

i don't know what made me go so deep .. maybe the lecture about " methodology of thinking " which was held for 3 days in the uni .. m3 an i didn't hear most of it (organizing curse) but the little bits that i heard , made me think a little .. or maybe it's the turn overs that happened this week .. no details here.

well i don't care about the reason ... all i know that i reached a point where my personality doesn't seem charming enough to get me through bad ugly days or get other ppl out of their bad ones.

do i need a personality makeover? or an over all make over

i can't even define me ! i can't even list 3 words that describe me enough , maybe i would after trying so hard..all i'm going to end with is 3 ugly words to describe me.

Yeah .. Lost in this storm that shattered the rest of my fake self-made personality , Lost and left with a fake smile ,a mask to cover what's within . Lost and left with a Q to be answered.

will u ever gonna find me =(

Barca Barca Barca

ok i don't have pics coz Kawthrooh took my mobile to listen to songs
Words would never be enough to what i'm feeling now .. but i will try my best with them
B9ra7a .. i'm still not getting that i'm here .. here in Barca ..
Won't say that my dream was fulfilled till i c what i came to c
the Nou Camp =D ... that will be tomorrow inshallah
Now i'm in the hotel , Princess .. which is a very cool 4 stars hotel .. very very modern .. high tech .. 7rkat hotel .
I'm here without my family coz they left to conitinue the tour around Barca but i'm here coz i'm gonna watch Barca's 1st game fel liga..


OMG =s .. i just realized that the game is on 7 ,, not 5 =s
5o5oo5o5o5o5o5oo5o
well ok .. then i'm staying in the hotel coz i thought the game is now but it's not .. so i guess i'll hang out here ,,netting a little , netting as in conecting net y3ni .. and then maybe a lil walk around "god i shouldn't give Kawthrooh my mobile =s"
anyhow .. so we went half of the tour today we saw km cool building walked along the Rambla .. cool street with lots of shows wnasa !!
cool beach .. el weather shway shway hot bs y3ni for sure not as hot as home .
well now i'm feeling so stupid coz i thought the game is now lolz !!
and no way to contact my family to tell them how stupid i was lolz
well ok ... 2 more hours then ....
will post the pics later

Stupid !! lolz

Disney .. JoyFul

That was yesterday
and i'll just upload pictures for it
nothing to say .. except .. JoyFul =)

Now I'm in Pa3'i

It's amazing when u c something u always used to c it on TV or cards.

i mean ok i've been there but that was like 1000000 years ago.

Paris sights which we saw today after ,finally , my parents agreed that we should go to the center of Paris for sight seeing especially when it's rainning and we decided not to go to Disney Land today.

We started in the Champ-Elysees (shanzilzeih =p),ate in Mcdonalds ana a7bh , then we walked back to the Arc de Triomphe ( 8os el n9r =p ) which was amazing seeing it .. like wow !!! --it's too big to be taking in a single pic lolz

then we had to take the Mitro ( subway to Americans , Underground to Uk ppl) to c that real WoOoOoW thingy .. la mo thingy ... THING ,, Eiffel Tower .. there ,, right beside my eyes

we wanted to go up ,, bs my phone was dead w i didn't want to go up without a camera .. and then the Q was soooo wajd and we were tired from all the walking and the mitro stations ( coz we live mn jd fei a6raf paris , so it took us wajd stations till we got there)

well now i'm in Pa3'i .. now i can say i've been here...

2morrow inshallah ,, even if it was rainning ,, we'll go to disney

it looks so cool from the out side w i'm sure it's MUCH COOLER from the inside

the weather here RoCkS by the way =)

Marriott .. WoW !!

We arrived to the hotel we r supposed to be in
actually i'm not sure if it's a hotel.. it is sooo amazing !!!!
i have no words to describe it ! Amazing seems small for what i'm seeing
we're living in a 2 floor amazing flat ..
it's surrounded by lakes. swimming pool ..
i took a really nice walk around .. fed the ducks in the lake .. and enjoyed the amazing weather

having so much fun here
i didn't c the tower yet =p
2morrow euro disney inshallah =D

Lost In Translation

God !! everyone is speaking french around here !
yeah i know i'm in france w that's the way things should be
but !! i mean ,, even the page is in french w i don't know how to make it anglasia
well i wanted to post a pic bs it's not my PC w a5af b9ra7a
i have 6 min left w no one fel msn=s
soo everything is alright around
el jo yjnnnzzzzz
w so far we're having fun but we didn't do anything yet
we stayed last night in a 2 star hotel lolz !!! it was ok
today we move to our hottel el mariott
maybe disney visiting or that tower =p

something bad happened yesterday in the airport to me bs b9ra7a i don't wanna register it here
i wanna forget it big time =(

i'm not yet fei mood el sfrz
maybe because i saw 1 street .. and 1 Mcdonalds which we ate from yetsterday

well getting there

c u

20% of the way .. done!

After 2 long hour at the soul connection between b7reinzy and Saudi .. (el jsr y3ni =p) .. we arrived to my flat to rest waiting to head to Bahrain Airport.


what i'm feeling ? well nothing so far


but after spending almost 5 hours with my sisters in the car .. well .. kinda dizzy i guess from all the fights =p

resting here picking up some movies and shoes =p

and ofcourse barca's cap for Huda to wear ..
and that's it ..

the only bad thing that is going on .. that my parents r kinda doing extreme make over to my room .. now they know why i didn't want them to come here =s

my mom is cleaning everything around ... no need for details =s

yallah klha half an hour and we're moving

a5af shway w they start painting el room bs =s

parents !!!

c u in europe. =)

My Song...

Lifehouse - Storm

DownLoad

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

The water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you, everything would be alright

If I see you this darkness will turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Cos I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you, everything would be alright
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

Gettin ready

I promised my self not to write or tell 3n our trip after the drama we went through last week by the -maybe- "un"fortunate events with the visa.

Well .. since i've been writing this now .. i'm no promises keeper!!

I'm so excited .. especialy with the way things r going ( inshallah ya rb !) .. won't reveal lots of details .. well .. not yet =p .

ya rb ya rb .. things go the way they should be =)

wl7mdallah 3la kl 7al =)

P.S check my slippers bs =p

Bending.....

Waiting for the days to tell us our fate

Waiting for the obstacles to get relieved

All we can do is just hope .. while wait

Our dreams by this waiting will be achieved

Barca Mshaklz =(

It's not a happy feeling when a tiny part of ur brain says .. i told u so =(

so yeah .. it's official .. the visa is seriously not coming b4 saturday

and we were left with some tears =( .. and 2 options

If the visa was released on Sunday .. we'll go Sunday night .. which means we'll be losing 1 night in my barca =( and the rest of the plan will go on.

If the visa was released after that .. we'll go on the 17th to Paris directly from here .. and on the 25th we'll go from there to Barca (if we found a hotel by then).. so it's just changing of dates.

but with the 2nd option .. me will land from Barca to B7reinzy .. directly to the uni .

w thinking of it tra it's not that bad of option = . maybe it's better !

bs God .. i just wanna go right now ='(.

Yallah allah yysr =)

B7reinzy =(

I was so excited with the barca thingy that i didn't think of anything else .. now with our plans r on the edge, all i'm thinking about is that I really wanna go back to my B7rein =(.

My uni ,my flat ... my friends =(

i miss everything so bad that i'm just looking at the pictures and smiling with a tear on the corner of my eye just screaming for its way out =( <<ok tra not that desperate just got so ,,drama shway)

By the way .. to ppl who don't know the pic shows my famous place in the our beloved Square.

Coming there my dear .. coming there =)

Visa P3'oblemoz !!!

=( !

Today i called the visa ppl so i can assure my self 3la my dream trip to Barca. Assure my self l2no i've been having those bad dreams , like a civil war just heated up fel Catalan side, w abo el hws en something is missing .. like my pics didn't reach them , or i gave them the old passport ( that would be so unnoticeable !) !

My insecurity was fei its place ..(nothing wrong from my side).

Some technical problems with our visa to my fav country and they r trying to release it b4 our flight Saturday night .

now what's up with visas .. b9ra7a after el wla2 el brshloony for more than 7 years from my side i shouldn't be asked for their permission to let me pass to the land of the Nou Camp !

Isn't my love and devotion to the soul of their city .. and the constant

e5la9 fel 7lwa wl morrh .. isn't that enough to be called Visa !

Let me pass please with Visa of Love =( !

LP Mode is Switched On !

Linkin Park - In Between

( Minutes to Midnight)

Let me apologize to begin with

Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed

But somehow I got caught up in between

Let me apologize to begin with

Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed

But somehow I got caught up in between

Between my pride and my promise

Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come

The only thing that's worse than one is none

Let me apologize to begin with

Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed

But somehow I got caught up in between

Between my pride and my promise

Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come

The only thing that's worse than one is none

The only thing that's worse than one is none

And I cannot explain to you

In anything I say or do or plan

Fear is not afraid of you

Guilt's a language you can understand

I cannot explain to you in anything I say or do

I hope the actions speak the words they can

For my pride and my promise

For my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come

The only thing that's worse than one is none

For my pride and my promise

Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come

The only thing that's worse than one is none

The only thing that's worse than one is none

The only thing that's worse than one is none

My Baby

My sweet little baby is a one year old + few months dell lap top .. i adapted him after .. an unfortunate -which i have nothing to do with- accident .. to my 1st child (allah yr7mh) =(

when i adapted my cute lil baby i took it ,, like every proud mom ,, everywhere .. el uni , mn el b7rein ll s3oodyh w mn el s3oodyh ll b7rein we were best buds ! .. 7ta i took it with me behind seas .. to Dublin and London last year .. where he lost his 1st tooth , and as i found out from the laptop dentist ( dell wkala ) en replacing it will cost me like 200 Riyals .. coz they will do a full dental repair ( they will replace el whole buttons ) .. so i thought .. isn't my baby cute with one button missing !!

and then .. another VERY unfortunate accident ,won't tell u what it is but my baby after it had to be constantly fed ( which we call fel medicine feild .. Vegetative State)

so computry el m7mool ,, isn't m7mool anymore .. it has to be in a location where electricity is on or it will simply .. die !

Now the bets r on .. is my baby gonna last another year .. or would i have to buy a brand new baby and u think if i take it to Barcelona and Paris .. would it lose more than a tooth ?

Can't wait to be there

My dream has always been .. sitting fei this ml3b el "Nou Camp"

w now inshallah.. thanks to my lovely parents lolz .. i'm going to be there !!!!! after 6 days

w now i'm thinking .. if i got that .. w been there..what else to dream for .. 5la9 ma fei dreams to achieve !!

6 days w i'm there ... 6 days inshallah .. w i'll a9eir .. dreamless

loolz

sweit blog loooolz

5o5o5oo5o5o
i can't believe i have a blog looolz