ReWriting my self Up !

Ok Here is the case

I need to study , so i open the book , and read

the next step is getting infoz and making ur brain go big

well no !

For me , i find anything to make me busy , all the business in the world comes when ur studying all the things ur keeping on hold , u just get them done while studying

So my on hold thing , was getting to write again,,coz i really miss writing

the thing is , i forgot how to write in arabic =s

s5afa right ! but that didn't keep me from Not Studying

so i did the following

U left me but ur here in my thoughts
I can't let u to be released
I'm cutting every single way out
Ease my pain by staying , please

Ur image is my only consolation
The memories just keep being forgotten
I don't know how I'm gonna find patience
When ur image becomes so rotten

Just come to renew ur picture
Remind me of that smile of ures
Ull be my home and I'll be ur shelter
All my life for u , is open doors

God please don't let me regret this post ='(

Going Down

This time , this post is no Oprah Winfry Show kind of post.
Going down = abnzl , which means i'm going to Saudi 2morrow ,u know, weekend.
This week was a very weird week 9ra7a , I can c that from just reading my posts and realizing , that my blog views increased by double since I posted that Storm thingy!
So u ppl like drama ha ...
Take that as drama then ...
After a very weird hard long week , i'm really gonna sort my brain out in this weekend regarding so many issues. actually , this week have changed me big time ! which made me think what kind of impact will this year has on my personality. well think about it , every year we develop in so many ways .. but i feel like this year has the biggest influence on my ever lasting personality.

So Going Down to Saudi .. But Getting Up with my new Me !
...+ve post at last =p

Down , Down and Down

Down , because I "think" I did what's right.
Down , because no one confirmed that what I did was right.
and Down , because I still need ppl's confirmation to prove what I "think" was the right thing to do.

.......Improving

Plz Believe in Me !

I've always always destroyed my self esteem by not believing in me.
The reason for that is simply , coz i never put high hopes in anything , including in me! . I've always waited for someone to prove me wrong , in the not believing part , but I guess .. no one could accomplish that even when some tried.
The thing that i never thought of .. is why waiting for ppl to prove me wrong ? why don't I to that my self !
So this year I adapted another attitude in which I put my self into situations pushing my self into the limits to c what "me" can do. If I done it right , I guess I gotta believe in Me. 3ad if I don't , I guess I gotta live with it =p
So self destruction , inshallah , no more! but i need a little help from external forces =p.

Away From the Spotlight..

Don't u think it's funny where u stand in the universe each single day.

If u don't , I do !

I don't know , i just some days , feel like i'm the center of the universe , and very +ve vibes r in the air .. and other days i feel like , well , nothing ..spacial !

U would say now , yeah, coz some days u do great so the ppl around u respond +vely to ur greatness , and some days ur just doing nothing ,,so akeed the universe will reply the same !

well that's not the case here !

It's just +ve or -ve days..with no particular reason.

I chose the "Away from the spotlight" title .. coz i always say that in 2 ,very different , situations.

It's either ppl r mo m3breiny what so ever .. so i'm like nothing around so many somethings.

or it's the exact opposite .. when the spotlights r on me ! and i just wanna go into shades !

What do I want ?

that's another difficult Q to be answered.

God i'm weird =s

Storm

Yeah i've been in this storm long ago.

weird how a very long tiring week .. spares u lots of time to think about ur self ..

and the one within ..

i don't know what made me go so deep .. maybe the lecture about " methodology of thinking " which was held for 3 days in the uni .. m3 an i didn't hear most of it (organizing curse) but the little bits that i heard , made me think a little .. or maybe it's the turn overs that happened this week .. no details here.

well i don't care about the reason ... all i know that i reached a point where my personality doesn't seem charming enough to get me through bad ugly days or get other ppl out of their bad ones.

do i need a personality makeover? or an over all make over

i can't even define me ! i can't even list 3 words that describe me enough , maybe i would after trying so hard..all i'm going to end with is 3 ugly words to describe me.

Yeah .. Lost in this storm that shattered the rest of my fake self-made personality , Lost and left with a fake smile ,a mask to cover what's within . Lost and left with a Q to be answered.

will u ever gonna find me =(